"Time to change, and I'm taking back my body, allergies!"
So since I got sick (almost four years ago!) I have gained enough weight to be the equivalent of carrying an extra person around with me all the time. That's hard work. It also forms a vicious circle as it makes the pressure welts harder to avoid, thus my bottom is ever expanding!
With the very slight change in season, a little sunshine, and a new allergy consultant something in my head recently went ping and I reached the conclusion that I'm fed up with being miserable with my size, fed up of not wearing the clothes I want to wear, and fed up with the absolute agony so I'm going to do something about it. I can't control everything of course, but by changing what I eat, and fighting through the pain to be a little more active I can stop that vicious circle from attacking quite so fiercely!
This is a huge decision for me, and one that means I'm going to take back control of my body, even just a little.
I dragged Mr LFCC to the nicest local gym I could find online on Sunday and we're not both officially members, and I was all set to get weighed and start Weight Watchers last night. After a truly horrible day at work with all kinds of stress and strife I felt at least I would finish on a positive note even though I was dreading the number those scales was going to show. My home scales don't go up high enough to get my weight. That gives you an idea of how much I weigh. I was anorexic as a teenager and even when my doctors were threatening hospitalisation for the condition I was still heavier than most of my friends so I would say I have lead bones but even that can't excuse the numbers we're talking here.
Imagine my heartbreak when I reached the door, braving my fears, my peers, and the humilation of that first weigh in just to find the door locked and barred with a notice of cancellation posted in the window!
I was determined not to be foiled at the first hurdle though and gave Mr LFCC a fabulous and very low fat paprika chicken salad for dinner and insisted we take the Poops to a local park for a walk. It was perhaps only fifteen minutes, but it's more than I've done in a long time, and way better than sitting on my big squidgy ass!
Then tonight after work, I braved the gym bunnies and superfly dudes to spend another ten minutes moving, and worked up a sweat and raised my BP on the exercise bike. My poor bottom is very very sore and I'll probably have pressure welts within the next hour or so but it was worth it. I forgot how good it feels to exercise! I used to be disgustingly fit and the endorphins it releases gives you so much positive energy! I know it's early days to say the least, but I do know that I CAN do this, and I CAN take back at least some control.
I might not have had that weigh in yet, but I WILL go back on Monday, and I'll have been to the gym again by then too!
I know I'm not alone in this situation and would really love it if we could all support each other! Many things can stop or delay us being how we want to be, but feeling alone shouldn't be one of them in this time of simple worldwide communication :o)